Thursday, June 24, 2010

Confessions of a Cry Baby

I have a confession to make. It’s a big one. Those who know me well are gonna understand why this is so difficult for me to admit…………

I’ve turned into the biggest cry baby, sissy girl!! The woman whose always prided herself on being composed, keeping it together, not showing emotion, and being in control, has become a sniffling, blubbering, cry-ee (my term – it’s a Manthieism) girl!

And you know what...IT’S AMAZING!!!

Let me explain.

I have learned that tears heal. I asked the Lord back in November to begin healing my heart, and with every tear shed there is a piece of me that is being made new. The very thing I used to fight with all my might is the catalyst which helps transform me into the woman God made me to be.

“And I will give them one heart [a new heart] and I will put a new spirit within them; and I will take the stony [unnaturally hardened] heart out of their flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh [sensitive and responsive to the touch of their God],” – Ezekiel 11:19 AMP

In the last 8 months the Lord has flipped me upside down, got me off my bearings, turned me inside out, and completely blown my mind in ways I have never experienced before. He has shaken me to the very core, opened my mind to things I never could have imagined, and broken down every false image I had of myself – and Him. There were tears, many tears, streams of tears….and now there are more, but these are different.

These new tears are tears of reverence and awe, love and passion. I have come to know Him in a way…..a way……a way that is so hard to explain because I can’t tell where I end and He begins. He has covered me. He has healed me. He has loved me in a manner that has so completely captured my heart that He is my every thought. He has knitted me in Him. He has shown me elements of His grace that take my breath away. He has brought good from my hurts. He has given me wisdom through my trials. He has brought purpose from my mistakes, and He has spoken destiny into my heart. He has overtaken me, overwhelmed me and overshadowed me. There is no me without Him. I am taken by Him, I am moved by Him, I am consumed by Him……I am undone.

He has shown me His power, which is so incalculable it can’t be measured – He is God, and He is sovereign; He is the final authority on every thing; He speaks and worlds are created; He breathes and life is born; He has taken into account every action, circumstance and decision that will ever happen in my life and before time began orchestrated it all to work for my good. How can tears of reverence and awe not flow when the God whose power cannot be contained chooses to visit with me throughout the course of my day, and guide every step that I take? Wow!

He has loved me so passionately and unconditionally that my heartbeat speeds up at the sound of His name. He holds me. He comforts me. He tells me who I am and who I am to Him. He values me. He accepts me. He is jealous for me. He wants me. He chose me. He loves me – on pretty days and ugly days, bad breath, bad attitude, bad behavior – He loves me completely. His love is not dependent on me, it’s who He is. He is MY love. I am His love. I am His bride. I am His heart. I am His hope. I am His. He died for me, just so He could be with me – now………. and forever. I have never experienced anything so sweet, so tender, so consuming.

And here’s the thing – He feels the same way about you! This is the mystery of the gospel in my terms – the love of Christ. It is unmerited, undeserved, unearned, but it is available to everyone who says, “I choose You, Lord!”

If we can ever fully wrap our mind around the fullness of the cross and have a true understanding of the grace of God, then surrender is no longer a choice, it's a compulsion. His love is so big - an all-consuming fire, an unquenchable passion, a flood of desire. You can never get enough of Him, and there is no end to Him!! It’s constant abundance in the center of His grace.

When we “get” that, then trusting Him is the easiest thing we can do. How can you not trust the intentions of a heart like that? The revelation of the abundance of God will make a cry baby out of you.....and that’s a good thing! He is worthy of every tear.

So my prayer today is this:

“My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask Him to strengthen you by His Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite Him in.

And I ask Him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love.

Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!

He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, His Spirit deeply and gently within us.” – Ephesians 3:14-21 The Message

Overflow in the love of Christ today!



thesharpshow said...

I so needed to hear this at this very moment. Thanks so much for posting Manthie!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post today.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post today Manth!

Anonymous said...

Love this!!! I was a cry baby reading it, lol :)!!! He's is AMAZING!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Manthie for being a strong Christian woman.

Anonymous said...

To be a cry baby for Christ....awesome

Deb said...

I love how our God is so good and so gentle in His dealings with us.

Am digging your blog!

Sweet dreams.